Jokes and Riddles!

What do you call a big pile of kittens?

A meowtain!

How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus?

Tentacles!

What did one stop light say to the another one?

Don’t watch me, I’m changing!

Why did the girl throw the clock out the window?

To see time fly!

What time is it when you need to see a dentist?

Tooth hurty!

When does a golfer need an extra pair of socks?

When he gets a hole in one!

How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit cards!

What was the elephant doing at the baggage claim?

Waiting for his trunk!

How do you make an elephant float?

Two scoops of ice cream, lots of root beer, and one elephant!

There was trouble over at the railroad station this morning.

A ticket got punched!!

Why did the chicken join the band?

He already had the drumsticks!

Mom: Come in and help me fix dinner.

Child: Why, is it broken?

What is the only vegetable that will be left in your garden after a dinosaur walks through it?

Squash.

What happened to the mama cat that swallowed a ball of yarn?

She had mittens!

What do mummies like for dessert?

I scream!

Where do polar bears go to dance?

To snow balls!

What can you get from a vampire in wintertime?

Frostbite!

Why did Cinderella get kicked off the basketball team?

She ran from the ball!

Why can’t pirates play cards?

They’re always standing on the deck!

What did the football coach say to the vending machine?

Give me my quarterback!

What’s an alligator with a vest on called?

An investigator!

What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta!

What does a clock do when it’s hungry?

It goes back four seconds!

How do you throw a space party?

You planet!

If two witches watch two watches, which witch watches which watch?

Hmmmmm…….?